(Ensuring I don't die is what's best for Elena, after all.)
[ It's a silky dig, slow at him. That connection she has in a way he never will, after all.
It might mean something more if they both didn't know the person most bothered by it, as far as anyone was concerned, was clearly her. Still. Her pain was Elena's and he had made her apologise. ]
(I need one of the local people. But I need to ensure that even if it goes all horribly wrong, they will remember nothing of the encounter. )
❰ her connection to elena only bothers him insomuch as it bothers elena — once lakshmi gets over herself and admits that elena is the best thing since sliced bread, he'll be perfectly fine with it. he had to share elena with his brother, after all, and he got so much less of her than stefan ever did.
better to have her heart than her head.
Easy. Grab a native, get me in the room, and we're good to go. ❱
where will they be meeting? when? damon really hopes lakshmi leaves and has to come back to give him the information, the frustration she'd feel would be delicious. even if she doesn't, though, he's gotten what he wanted from this interaction. ❱
❰ You can't kill either of us. I'd know if you were upsetting Elena. All in all, you're pretty insignificant to me. I have bigger fish to fry, buttercup.
he doesn't, not really — in the longterm, he wants to go home, to get the symbiote out of his and sam's and elena's heads, but that's not happening anytime soon. lakshmi's the biggest problem he's come across so far, but that is something that is locked tightly away in his mind, hidden at the bottom of a lake of blood. as far as she can ever know, she doesn't concern him. ❱
(Then whoever she has been before she became such a creature, you were never worthy of her. )
[ It's a dismissive flick of her fingers. Go figure, she knows enough now to know Elena wasn't always like him, even if they were both unfortunately requiring to be put down for everyone's greater good. But they clearly cared about each other a great deal.
Even if she had made sure that whatever might have been helpful to Elena she had drowned under her own willing personality. ]
(You know, I knew a girl back home you'd have gotten on with like a house on fire.
damon neatly sidesteps the question of worth, unwilling to get into a discussion of his myriad and numerous defects with lakshmi of all people, but he is again reminded of bonnie.
poor imitation though she is, lakshmi shares a certain narrow-minded determination with bonnie bennett that damon can't help but respect. it's infuriating that these women are so sure they know the only possible course of action to take, that they'd kill people they don't know who've done nothing wrong to mete out some twisted form of justice... but at least they stand for something. that's about the nicest thing damon can say about lakshmi — bonnie at least is also useful, so she gets more.
for the first time since he arrived on the station, damon feels a pang of... nostalgia, almost. not quite missing, because he'd never miss bonnie, but lakshmi is a shitty replacement. )
[ She starts to laugh, the warm flicker of the fire that is her - searing and pure and ugly. Kali with her skulls, her weapons in hand, she promises only one thing. Steady as war drums, hoof beats, the steadiness of her whole purpose. ]
(Does she wish for Elena to have the conviction she professes to have in caring for others and do what she should have done the day she woke up turned? )
bonnie is a judgmental wench of a witch, but she knows what's important. it took her ages to come around with caroline, but now that she's been through that, she'd probably be okay with elena.
(The sky is up, the sea is blue and Lord Hastings rules the United India Company and holds costly dinner parties with his wife on his arm.
That your kind can falsify their relationships to continue to hold a place in society is not news to me, Vampire. So if you are done listing pointless information...? )
( abruptly, it's not bonnie that fills damon's head, but liz, and with her face comes a palpable pang of longing that even lakshmi might feel. liz isn't as close a friend as ric, really, their friendship still tenuous as she navigates the whole new world of friendly vampires, but she was a lot like lakshmi, once. she didn't think vampires were still people, called them it even staring them in the face... and now look at her. daughter a vampire, slowly settling back into her friendship with damon, accepting that the world is a strange place where sometimes the vampires are the good guys.
or at least the good-er guys. damon's pretty sure no one can call him good and really mean it.
At what point does it turn from falsifying to real? A year of good behaviour? Five? Ten? If a vampire lives without hurting anyone else for decades, do they get to be a person again, or is the great and wise Arbiter of All Things Acceptable going to deny that too?
the derision in damon's question is clear, even mentally, lakshmi found utterly wanting in the face of the two women she brings to mind. )
She says it again to herself as if she might be able to take it more seriously this time around - and it turns over again.
It does nothing for records to her sanity, no doubt, but she begins to laugh. Laugh and laugh and laugh. Thick as gun smoke, loud as canons. It goes and goes and goes. Until the mirth is twisted from ugly to joyous than back again. Shall she recolour her anger for him? Would that meet his standards?
He is no better than Hastings, she realises. Perhaps not in cruelty - she will give Elena at least that much. If nothing else, he is too self involved to manage half of what Hasting's did. But the selfish killing for his own amusement, that seemed perfectly to what he was capable of, given how quickly he seem inclined to violence. But the arrogance, the playing this off like it was just a matter of her suppressing their right to happiness, Sam's accusation - you're prejudiced. Like she woke up like this. ]
(And what of the families, the homes, that you no doubt have destroyed? How long shall they grieve their loses - ) [ light, mocking, arrogantly parroting his own words back at him. ] ( - five, ten years maybe? Will that be enough to return fathers, daughters, wives, dear friends? When you will glory in your new love with Elena for a possible eternity. Their time is brief, lonely, and what little mirth life for those so briefly alive, has been snatched from them. )
( it doesn't matter what he says. damon knows that, and still he wants her to berate her about just how stupid she's being, but... it won't do any good. the only thing that might is forcing her around elena more, forcing her to see that not all vampires are the monsters she's so convinced they are. he is, certainly, but he's not concerned about her opinion of him — he's more than confident in his ability to fend for himself — but elena doesn't need this.
coolly, ever playing the level-headed superior, damon retreats from their connection, leaving only one sliver of a thread left between them.
An interesting way to talk to someone you need so much, buttercup.
he doesn't have to help her. he got what he wanted, after all. )
(Going back on our deal already? I kept my end of the deal. I will be sure to inform the Commander if you do not keep yours. It is her that said I ought to ask you. )
[ Her eyes roll - like he is acting just like she expected. She feigns neither levelheadedness nor softens her tone. She was ever poor at acting like other than what she is, stubborn and clawing all the way down. ]
(You noble types are always so concerned with your word and being honourable... Right up until you're not and you don't give a shit. At least I'm honest.
that's about all that can be said in damon's favour: he's honest, perhaps to a fault, and he makes no attempts to hide who or what he is. in all things he wants what is real, and if lakshmi really hates him... boohoo for her.
still, he hasn't confirmed or denied whether he's backing out of the deal, and the mention of shepard sparks amusement. shepard sent her here, huh? he'll have to get her a fruit basket.
Remind me why I should care about that? Shepard's not my keeper.)
(Who else would I be beholden to? Cathaway? Prince? The fucking president?
what kind of stupid question...
I'm not beholden to anyone. My choices are mine and they stand on their own.
which is not to say that there aren't people whose opinions he cares about — there's sam and elena and stefan, just to name people who are here or have been here — but the idea that anyone chooses his course but him, anyone can influence him when he doesn't want to be influenced... please, lakshmi. don't be ridiculous. )
❰ damon is suddenly and completely very, very tired. he's done with vitriol and being purposefully misunderstood and reviled for things he never even said or did or even intended. if lakshmi hated him for him that would be one thing. he is a uniquely terrible person, and he has done more than enough to be hated for. but expectations, preconceptions he has nothing to do with? no. he won't allow anyone to look at him and see something else.
I didn't argue anything. I told you what I think and I don't care if you approve. Live your life according to the whims of people who are neither alive nor here, I don't give a fuck. But if you want my help, you will show me some respect.
as with his demand for her apology, there is nothing of a request in this. she will do this, or she will get nothing from him.❱
❰ Which of us started this bullshit, hm? Which of us was the one in the nest for two seconds before they started trying to murder people?
damon lets that question settle for a moment before he starts again, calmer this time.
Do the math, Lakshmi, I was here for months before you were. No one died. No one was injured who didn't injure me first or literally ask for it. Meanwhile you're here for two weeks and all of a sudden it's war with lines drawn and shots fired. I am not the monster here. I am not the one tearing the nest apart.
I'll show you respect when you earn it, buttercup. And you can start by not being a dick because I dare not to fall at your preciously superior human feet. ❱
( Then have a care for where I have been, Damon Salvatore, because it has been a war for centuries. The sorrow I have seen is not undone by a few weeks of good merit. But I swore to your Sam my hand will be stayed. I have kept my word since the first day. )
[ but she can and she will, openly as she is wont, resent their presence. The source of her argument with Sam, she will stay her hand, she will not kill them, but she will never betray the suffering of her own body and of her own people, but playing house with them. ]
(Come if you feel like having a use. If our merit is our good and bad actions for the sake of the hive, then I only care about the ones that get us through this mission. If there is no respect between us for that, then we all are already dead. )
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[ It's a silky dig, slow at him. That connection she has in a way he never will, after all.
It might mean something more if they both didn't know the person most bothered by it, as far as anyone was concerned, was clearly her. Still. Her pain was Elena's and he had made her apologise. ]
( I need one of the local people. But I need to ensure that even if it goes all horribly wrong, they will remember nothing of the encounter. )
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better to have her heart than her head.
Easy. Grab a native, get me in the room, and we're good to go. ❱
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( I'll meet you tomorrow then. )
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where will they be meeting? when? damon really hopes lakshmi leaves and has to come back to give him the information, the frustration she'd feel would be delicious. even if she doesn't, though, he's gotten what he wanted from this interaction. ❱
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( Hardly that, like we can't be aware of each other's location like this. )
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You really think I pay that much attention to you?
don't flatter yourself, honey. ❱
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( If you don't, you are more fool than I thought. )
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he doesn't, not really — in the longterm, he wants to go home, to get the symbiote out of his and sam's and elena's heads, but that's not happening anytime soon. lakshmi's the biggest problem he's come across so far, but that is something that is locked tightly away in his mind, hidden at the bottom of a lake of blood. as far as she can ever know, she doesn't concern him. ❱
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[ It's a dismissive flick of her fingers. Go figure, she knows enough now to know Elena wasn't always like him, even if they were both unfortunately requiring to be put down for everyone's greater good. But they clearly cared about each other a great deal.
Even if she had made sure that whatever might have been helpful to Elena she had drowned under her own willing personality. ]
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damon neatly sidesteps the question of worth, unwilling to get into a discussion of his myriad and numerous defects with lakshmi of all people, but he is again reminded of bonnie.
poor imitation though she is, lakshmi shares a certain narrow-minded determination with bonnie bennett that damon can't help but respect. it's infuriating that these women are so sure they know the only possible course of action to take, that they'd kill people they don't know who've done nothing wrong to mete out some twisted form of justice... but at least they stand for something. that's about the nicest thing damon can say about lakshmi — bonnie at least is also useful, so she gets more.
for the first time since he arrived on the station, damon feels a pang of... nostalgia, almost. not quite missing, because he'd never miss bonnie, but lakshmi is a shitty replacement. )
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( Does she wish for Elena to have the conviction she professes to have in caring for others and do what she should have done the day she woke up turned? )
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bonnie is a judgmental wench of a witch, but she knows what's important. it took her ages to come around with caroline, but now that she's been through that, she'd probably be okay with elena.
probably. ❱
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That your kind can falsify their relationships to continue to hold a place in society is not news to me, Vampire. So if you are done listing pointless information...? )
[ Get to the point Damon, she's waiting. ]
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or at least the good-er guys. damon's pretty sure no one can call him good and really mean it.
At what point does it turn from falsifying to real? A year of good behaviour? Five? Ten? If a vampire lives without hurting anyone else for decades, do they get to be a person again, or is the great and wise Arbiter of All Things Acceptable going to deny that too?
the derision in damon's question is clear, even mentally, lakshmi found utterly wanting in the face of the two women she brings to mind. )
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She says it again to herself as if she might be able to take it more seriously this time around - and it turns over again.
It does nothing for records to her sanity, no doubt, but she begins to laugh. Laugh and laugh and laugh. Thick as gun smoke, loud as canons. It goes and goes and goes. Until the mirth is twisted from ugly to joyous than back again. Shall she recolour her anger for him? Would that meet his standards?
He is no better than Hastings, she realises. Perhaps not in cruelty - she will give Elena at least that much. If nothing else, he is too self involved to manage half of what Hasting's did. But the selfish killing for his own amusement, that seemed perfectly to what he was capable of, given how quickly he seem inclined to violence. But the arrogance, the playing this off like it was just a matter of her suppressing their right to happiness, Sam's accusation - you're prejudiced. Like she woke up like this. ]
( And what of the families, the homes, that you no doubt have destroyed? How long shall they grieve their loses - ) [ light, mocking, arrogantly parroting his own words back at him. ] ( - five, ten years maybe? Will that be enough to return fathers, daughters, wives, dear friends? When you will glory in your new love with Elena for a possible eternity. Their time is brief, lonely, and what little mirth life for those so briefly alive, has been snatched from them. )
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coolly, ever playing the level-headed superior, damon retreats from their connection, leaving only one sliver of a thread left between them.
An interesting way to talk to someone you need so much, buttercup.
he doesn't have to help her. he got what he wanted, after all. )
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[ Her eyes roll - like he is acting just like she expected. She feigns neither levelheadedness nor softens her tone. She was ever poor at acting like other than what she is, stubborn and clawing all the way down. ]
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that's about all that can be said in damon's favour: he's honest, perhaps to a fault, and he makes no attempts to hide who or what he is. in all things he wants what is real, and if lakshmi really hates him... boohoo for her.
still, he hasn't confirmed or denied whether he's backing out of the deal, and the mention of shepard sparks amusement. shepard sent her here, huh? he'll have to get her a fruit basket.
Remind me why I should care about that? Shepard's not my keeper. )
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[ Erg. ]
( Because you must be beholden to someone else aside from your beloved. Otherwise you really aren't to be trusted. )
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what kind of stupid question...
I'm not beholden to anyone. My choices are mine and they stand on their own.
which is not to say that there aren't people whose opinions he cares about — there's sam and elena and stefan, just to name people who are here or have been here — but the idea that anyone chooses his course but him, anyone can influence him when he doesn't want to be influenced... please, lakshmi. don't be ridiculous. )
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(A child squalling makes those arguments. Whatever delusions you hold about yourself aren't my concern. Will you be assisting or not? )
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I didn't argue anything. I told you what I think and I don't care if you approve. Live your life according to the whims of people who are neither alive nor here, I don't give a fuck. But if you want my help, you will show me some respect.
as with his demand for her apology, there is nothing of a request in this. she will do this, or she will get nothing from him.❱
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damon lets that question settle for a moment before he starts again, calmer this time.
Do the math, Lakshmi, I was here for months before you were. No one died. No one was injured who didn't injure me first or literally ask for it. Meanwhile you're here for two weeks and all of a sudden it's war with lines drawn and shots fired. I am not the monster here. I am not the one tearing the nest apart.
I'll show you respect when you earn it, buttercup. And you can start by not being a dick because I dare not to fall at your preciously superior human feet. ❱
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[ but she can and she will, openly as she is wont, resent their presence. The source of her argument with Sam, she will stay her hand, she will not kill them, but she will never betray the suffering of her own body and of her own people, but playing house with them. ]
(Come if you feel like having a use. If our merit is our good and bad actions for the sake of the hive, then I only care about the ones that get us through this mission. If there is no respect between us for that, then we all are already dead. )
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