( when damon dreams, he doesn't usually have nightmares. or didn't used to, anyway. when his humanit was off, he barely dreamt at all, and when he did... it was nothing like this. true dreams came back with his humanity, and dreams of this have come with sam reminding him that it happened at all. he's made no more effort to deal with the memories than he did before sam uncovered them, and so the dream is inescapable, all-consuming.
it's not a memory, exactly. it's just an amalgam of all the days he was under that scalpel, and truthfully, it's almost bland, in the face of all the further tortures he'd been through. the pain is not the point, though — he's learned to take pain with the best of them, and if it were just the pain he had to deal with he'd be fine. with the pain, however, comes the fear, the starvation, the idea that this would never end. that he would be stuck here, forced to endure this pain and forced to watch enzo endure it, for eternity. vampires don't die, and whitmore fed them just enough to keep them alive. there were no chances even to grab for wooden implements, no way to choose their own end. they would be stuck with this forever.
that idea scared him more than the pain ever could.
there's a passenger in the dream, but damon doesn't notice it until he's woken, shooting up to sitting as his heart races. for a moment he hopes that whoever went theough it with him won't realize whose dream it was... but misato shows up not long after he wakes, and he frowns. she's being uncharacteristically respectful, and he doesn't particularly want to see anyone. maybe she'd listen if he said to fuck off.
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it's not a memory, exactly. it's just an amalgam of all the days he was under that scalpel, and truthfully, it's almost bland, in the face of all the further tortures he'd been through. the pain is not the point, though — he's learned to take pain with the best of them, and if it were just the pain he had to deal with he'd be fine. with the pain, however, comes the fear, the starvation, the idea that this would never end. that he would be stuck here, forced to endure this pain and forced to watch enzo endure it, for eternity. vampires don't die, and whitmore fed them just enough to keep them alive. there were no chances even to grab for wooden implements, no way to choose their own end. they would be stuck with this forever.
that idea scared him more than the pain ever could.
there's a passenger in the dream, but damon doesn't notice it until he's woken, shooting up to sitting as his heart races. for a moment he hopes that whoever went theough it with him won't realize whose dream it was... but misato shows up not long after he wakes, and he frowns. she's being uncharacteristically respectful, and he doesn't particularly want to see anyone. maybe she'd listen if he said to fuck off.
yeah, right. )
As if you'd listen if I said no.